Pregnancy and Birth

( This was written right after Jade was born. Sorry it took me so long to post it. )

I can't believe it has been 7 months since I announced that we were going to be welcoming a little one into our home. I remember thinking that April was so far away, but it came so fast! My pregnancy was relatively uneventful. I only had nausea a couple of weeks at the beginning and nothing so bad that I threw up so I was extremely grateful for that. In fact every time I went to my doctors appointments, the nurse and the doctor would both comment on how I was their easiest patient and they hoped I would stay that way. I hoped for the same thing, but sadly my luck ran out at about 36 weeks. At my 36 week appointment my blood pressure started to climb. It wasn't high enough to really be a concern, but then I started having persistent headaches and by the end of the week my ankles and legs had swollen to almost double their size. When I went for my 37 week appointment my blood pressure had gotten even higher and they were not liking the fact that I was having headaches and swelling so much. For the next two days I had to go to the hospital and have non-stress tests done and I also had to do a 24 hour urine text (which is so not fun). This was to see if I had pre-eclampsia because all of my symptoms pointed to that.While doing the non-stress tests everything looked really good and my blood pressure had gone down to a fairly normal level, but the headaches and swelling continued and when I went in for my 38 week appointment my blood pressure was high again. That day my doctor decided it would be best if we got our little girl here sooner rather than later. He felt that it was important we get her here before my condition got worse which could cause a lot of problems for the baby so I left the doctors office that day knowing that my little girl would be here the next day.

I can tell you I wasn't very happy about having to be induced. I really would have rather gone into labor on my own, but I also completely trusted my doctor and if he felt that it would be better for me and my baby to get here then that is what I would do. On the morning of April 18th we arrived at the hospital at 9:30am to get things started. I had already started progressing well on my own so the doctor and nurses felt like she would be here in the early evening. They started me on pitocin about an hour later and I started having contractions. Now at this point the pain really wasn't that bad at all and I was thinking to myself that maybe I didn't need the epidural, but I didn't realize how much worse the pain was going to get. At about 11:30am the doctor came in and broke my water and then the contractions started getting worse. I seriously can't even describe the excruciating pain I was in. I never thought it would be that bad. I asked for the epidural not long after that, but it took them forever to get my platelet count so I had to wait an hour or so before I could get the epi. The epidural is like one of the best things ever invented in my mind. After I got it I was able to relax and sleep for a little bit until things started to go wrong. With the help of the pitocin I started progressing extremely fast and the baby was not liking it. Her heart rate started to fall with every contraction I had so they stopped the pitocin and gave me a shot to stop my contractions. They wanted to give the baby time to rest and relax before we started up again. About an hour later they turned the pitocin back on but was giving me the lowest dosage they could so that the baby would tolerate it better. For the next hour or so she was doing fine, but not great so they turned the pitocin off. They decided to just let me contract on my own and hopefully I was far enough along that I would progress on my own. When they turned the pitocin off I was dilated to an 8 1/2 so they expected me to get to a 10 in the next hour or so. About three hours later I was still at an 8 1/2 and her heart rate started dropping dramatically and taking way too long to come back up again. Next thing I know I have like four different nurses in my room trying to get her heart rate up and then my doctor walked in. He told me that her heart rate was way too low and that we were going to have to do an emergency C section. The minute I heard him say C section I started bawling. I so did not want to have major surgery and I was terrified that there was something really wrong with my baby. So I started bawling and Sol, well he just froze. He was just staring at me with this terrified look on his face which I have to say didn't help me feel any better about having a C section.

Getting wheeled into the OR was kind of surreal. I had not planned or prepared for this so I had no idea what to expect and I was terrified. They did all the prepping they needed and then just as they were about to cut me open Sol walked in. I was so terrified that I would have to be by myself the whole time and I did not want that. As they were working I was just praying constantly that she would cry when she came out and that she would be healthy. I don't know how long it really took, but it felt like forever. The first thing the doctor said as she was coming out was "look at all that hair" and then she let out a wail. I have never felt so relieved in all my life. Hearing that cry was the best sound I have ever heard and of course I started bawling. I couldn't see her yet, but Sol could and he was beaming. I don't think I have ever seen him look so happy. Once they got her cleaned up a little they brought over to me so I could see her. She was beautiful and she immediately stopped crying when I started talking to her, which obviously made me feel amazing! Worst part of the whole thing thought was the fact that I still couldn't move because they were stitching me up so I couldn't touch her and I had to wait like an hour before I got to see her again and hold her for the first time. Here is our Jade Elizabeth Frazier!

We were in the hospital for about 3 1/2 days, which was long enough. The recovery from the C-section was hard, but not as bad as I expected it to be. The worst part of the whole recovery really didn't have anything to do with the C-section. The day we got home from the hospital I started to feel sick and for the next four to five days I had the stomach flu. That first week home was the hardest of my life because not only was I recovering from major surgery and the flu, but I had to take care of my daughter as well. Thankfully I had Sol for a couple days and then my mom was able to come stay with me for a couple days. I know I would not have recovered as fast as I did if it weren't for them. I really hope and pray that I don't have to go through the recovery process again with the flu. It was horrible and frankly made me really depressed. It didn't last too long though and I was able to get the hang of things on my own.

Being a mom is amazing! I am so grateful for this opportunity to be Jade's mother. She is the greatest blessing our lives. It was a long hard road to get to this point, but I wouldn't trade any of the trials we went through to get here because it taught us so much and I know we appreciate Jade so much more than if it would have been easy for us to have her. I'm so excited to watch her learn and grow!

Some Happy News!!

As I posted before, I decided to go back to school this semester. It has been a big change and I'm still getting into the swing of things, but it has been a really nice change. The best thing about it is being able to be home more. One of the biggest reasons I decided to go back to school was because I really wasn't enjoying my job anymore and I felt kind of stuck. I definitely needed a change and I hoped that maybe a change would also bring pregnancy. We had been trying for a little one ever since my miscarriage last year and I was getting very frustrated that things weren't happening. My last month at my job I was working with my doctor to find out why I wasn't getting pregnant. I was so happy that we were finally doing something to help. We found out that one of my levels was high ( can't remember which one) and they were going to have me start taking a new medication to lower it, but I had to wait until I started my period. On my last day of work I still hadn't started my period so that morning I grudgingly took a pregnancy test. For some reason for this test I was not excited or nervous. I seriously felt positive that I wasn't pregnant and was only taking the test because the nurse told me to, but to my surprise IT was positive!! So after over two years of hoping and praying, we have finally got our wish! We are expecting a little one at the end of April! We are so excited to finally start our family. I am over 13 weeks along and at my last appointment my doctor told me that this one should be here to stay, so I feel comfortable posting about it. We should find out the sex sometime at the beginning of December, which seems like so far away still. We are so happy and excited and feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be parents. I know that Sol will be a wonderful father and I can't wait to see him in action.

Back To School

That's right, I am going back to school. I have needed to do this for awhile now, but I was always so hesitant because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. There has been a lot of changes happening at my place of employment that have just showed me that now is the right time for me to go back. So I am doing it. I will be attending UVU because it is so close to my home and my major is Behavioral Science with an Emphasis in Family Studies. I am so excited to get back into the swing of being a student. I loved school when I was down at Snow College so I really hope I feel the same way at UVU. Obviously it will be different and I am a little scared that I am going to be overwhelmed since it has been four years since I have been in a classroom, but it should be good. I will be going full-time so that means I will be leaving Deseret First Credit Union. I am a little sad to be leaving because I love all those I have been able to work with over the last four years, but don't worry NT bunch, I will still keep in touch as often as possible. I couldn't be more excited for this much needed change in my life. Wish me luck!!

A Hard Time

It has been a long time yet again since I have posted anything. It's not because things haven't happened but mostly because I haven't felt like anything really good has happened. You will see by this post that I have been preoccupied by something for the last 8 months that has made it hard for me to think of anything else.

About 8 months ago I found out that I was pregnant. At first I didn't believe it because my body had been so unpredictable with regards to my period and ovulation. So to be sure I took like 3 pregnancy tests on different days. They were all positive and I couldn't have been more excited. Sol and I had been wanting this for almost two years and to think that we were finally going to get our wish made us so happy. Because I hadn't taken a pregnancy test until I was about 7 weeks along my doctor couldn't fit me in until I was 10 weeks on Nov 8th. I was a little scared that having my first doctors visit that far into the pregnancy was bad, but the nurse assured me that it was fine. Now I know that that was a blessing in disguise.

The night before my scheduled appointment we were at my parents having dinner when I started to cramp really bad. I have cramps every period, but this was worse than any I had experienced. I knew something was wrong and I was completely devastated. Before we left my parents house that night my dad and Sol gave me a blessing which I know was the reason I got through the next day.

November 8th is somewhat of a blur to me. I remember waking up feeling a little better and then like 20 minutes after Sol left for work things got bad. I can't even describe the agonizing pain I was in physically and emotionally. I know that at one point I called Sol and told him that he needed to come home because I was not going to go through this on my own. When Sol got home we ended up having to go to the Hospital because I was bleeding more than they like. We were at the hospital for almost 4 hour before they told me the news that I had indeed miscarried. I think by that point I was so emotionally spent that I just felt numb. That night I didn't do much other than sit on our bed thinking that this was the worst day of my life.

I am sure you are wondering why I am saying all this now and the answer is because I am trying to get some closure. This week is the week that I would have had my little baby and I really was hoping that I would be pregnant again before this week came, but sadly that hasn't happened. I am sure the reason this has been so hard is because I am taking hormones every month to try and help me get pregnant so I have to think about it each and every day and when I don't get pregnant each month it brings back the feelings of that day. I can honestly say that this is the hardest trial I have ever had to go through, but I am grateful for all that I have learned and for the many blessings this has shown me that I have.

So we are trying to live life to the fullest and we are trying not to dwell on the things that we don't have and focus on what we do have. Sol is much better at this then I am or maybe he just hides his feelings better than I do, but either way we really are doing fine. I can't thank all my friends and family enough for how supportive they have been and how willing they are to share their experiences with me. That is something that has helped me so much through this whole process is hearing from those that have had experiences like this. It made me realize that I am not alone in this and that things really will be okay. I think that is another reason I finally decided to post about this, so that if there is anyone in the same situation looking for something that can help them get through the tough time, maybe this could be of help. I'm sorry for how depressing this post has sounded, but it is a part of my life and I know that I would completely regret it if I pretended like it never happened. We are hopeful that we will get pregnant at some point and we know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. Sometimes it is so hard not knowing what that plan is, but I can honestly say I trust the Lord completely and I know that he knows what's right for me.

Family Photos

Sometime this last May my family finally got some family pictures taken. We wanted to get them done before my little bro left on his mission. We seriously had a blast taking all these pictures. I cannot say enough how much I love my family. I feel like I have the best family on earth. They have always been there for me when I have needed them and when Sol became apart of the family they welcomed him with open arms and hearts. I am so grateful for the family that I have. I hope they know how special they are to me.



My little bro's mission pic. He is so handsome and he is a great Missionary!

We had to do these last two just for fun!!

Major Update

Time seriously has flown by this year for us. So much has happened in our lives this year that we are still just taking it all in. Sol has now been at his job for 10 months now and he still loves it. He is getting better at it everyday and he is getting closer to getting his ASA (which is the first level of certification for Actuaries). He takes his last big exam for it on Nov. 9th and we are just hoping he gets as good a score on this one as he did the last two he took. I am sure he will since he studies almost every minute of everyday that he isn't working, eating or sleeping. He really is such a smart guy and I am so proud of him.

We moved into our house on May 18th and we are loving it. I seriously don't think we could have chosen a better neighborhood. Our neighbors are great and we love the ward. We teach the 7-8 year olds in primary and we love it. They are seriously the cutest kids. Yes sometimes they drive us crazy, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to teach them. I am sure I learn more from them than they do from me. It has taken me way too long to post pictures of the house after it was finished so here you go.

Love the Kitchen!!

We love our huge pantry.

The tub is Sol's favorite part of the house.

We love everything about the house. It is a lot of work especially trying to put a yard in, but we are enjoying it. We have been working on it all summer and we still aren't finished so we don't get to put in grass until next spring, but hopefully we won't have too much left to do then. We will see though. Once we get that finished I am sure we will start working on the inside of the house more, which I can't wait for. Not like there is stuff to fix up but I would like to decorate more and paint the rooms. Hopefully it will turn out good.

Our House!!

We are getting so excited to finally move into our own place. The house should be done around May 21st which is in about a month. The house is coming along nicely so I thought I would post some pictures.

The first few pictures are just of the foundation and basement walls.

The next pictures are of the framing. It literally went from looking like the above pictures to these next ones in a week and a half.

Front of the house!

The garage! We are so excited for that!

Sol was so excited when he saw the tub!

This is in the master looking out to the family room.

The basement is so big, it will be nice to have room to grow.

Vaulted ceilings in the family room.

Looking into the dining/kitchen area.

As it moves further along I'll take more pictures and post them!!